The Lost Summer
by BPScott
Summary: It's the summer after senior year, Lucas and Brooke find themselves curiously alone in Tree Hill.
1. The Cure for the Pain is in the Pain

Prologue: _The Cure For The Pain Is In The Pain _

The smell of salt tickles her nose as the setting sun paints the sky vivid colors of oranges and pinks. A small smile touches her lips as she watches the sun slowly falling into the ocean. In a few short minutes, shorter than she likes, the sun would submerge itself completely. Night falling on the eerily peaceful beach.

Yet, here she sits. No towel, no sunscreen, no bikini. Just her and her old blue jeans, her butt planted firmly on the sand.

The beach always seemed to treat her well. When everything around her seemed to be falling apart, this place brought back the lighter side of life. The vast, limitless ocean putting into perspective that the world didn't, in fact, revolve around her. The glittering sunset sky, telling her that there were more important things. The millions and billions of grains of sand, showing her that her problems were usually insignificant.

And that's what she came here for, today. To feel that sensation of icy clarity only the ocean and the sunset could bring her.

She digs her hands into the earth, bringing sand up into a closed fist. She holds it in front of her stark hazel eyes, a small frown forming on her face, as she watches it slip through her fingers. Just like anything worth having, the sand was just an inch out of reach. But still all around her, surrounding her, like an annoying reminder of something she couldn't keep. She opens her hand, palm facing towards the sky, and blows away the remaining grains that had accumulated there.

The breeze separates them, carrying them towards the ocean only to come back to her again.

She pushes her hair behind her ear and exhales slowly, closing her eyes for a moment. The light wind sweeps across her cheek like a kiss from an old friend. She can hear the calm of the waves, taste the salt on her tongue, and feel her tears begin to prick. She didn't know what she could cry over. Sure, life had her down today, but it wasn't enough to cry over. Nothing earth shattering that could break through her iron clad resolve.

Sure, her best friend had left for a summer internship miles and miles away from her. And sure, her boyfriend abandoned her to go to a place far, far away. And yes, a girl she'd grown very close to over the past few months left for another country. Also, the only people she considered family found a new place to live. And her own family didn't bother to ask her to visit. And yeah, high school ended for good last week. And sure, she didn't feel like she had a place to go anymore.

But none of that is enough to make her cry. Because she's used to being alone and that solitude taught her to be strong, but it doesn't do a thing to dull the pain. It doesn't buffer her feelings.

_The truth is, I don't really like to think about college, 'cause that means high school's over. After graduation, everyone will probably go play basketball, or sing or start record labels... And I'll have to start all over. Alone. I'm sure I'll be fine. But like I said, I don't like to think about it._ Her words from earlier in the year echo through her ears as she muses. She realizes, she never did think about. Not really, anyway. And while she's still sure that she'll be fine, she wishes she would have thought about it.

A shuffle of footsteps and the sound of his timid throat clearing snaps her eyes open. Her first instinct is to adjust her eyes to the dark sky then she whips to face him. His piercing blue gaze meeting hers instantly. "You mind?" He gestures to a spot beside her.

Does she mind? Hell yes, but what does she say? "No, go ahead." She mumbles, they're friends after all. Or so she leads herself to believe.

He wordlessly makes his way down towards her, she faces the ocean once more. He sits next to her, his eyes on her for the moment. "You miss her?" She murmurs out of courtesy more than anything else.

"Sure." He answers and it throws her slightly off kilter. His conviction didn't sound very profound, no poetic words about their Shakespearean romance. Nothing in his voice to distinguish his feelings for the girl he loved and a goldfish he might have been fond of.

But she doesn't pry. Those wounds are still too fresh. "Yeah, me too." She agrees instead, it's safer that way.

He nods, his glance interchanging from her face to the dark blue ocean. He'd look at her when she spoke, then linger for a minute or two longer before watching the water once more. "I knew _you'd_ be here." The ghost of a smirk dances on his lips.

She shrugs a shoulder. "A safe bet." She acknowledges. The most meager of acquaintances could have predicted the same. And once upon a time she used to claim her knew her better than anyone else, what a joke that was.

"Haley, Nathan and Jamie are settled. Nathan likes Charlotte." He changes the subject to a more neutral one, sensing the hostility in her voice.

She pauses, before nodding. "Yeah, Haley told me the same thing." She says quietly. "She feels homesick though." She adds.

He pulls a hand through his sandy blonde hair, it's much too long for her taste. But she doesn't have a say in those kinds of things anymore. She's sure Peyton prefers it this way, or he probably would've cut a long time ago. He'd go to the ends of the earth for that girl, she knew it, he knew it. Maybe it was just Peyton who was stupid enough not to know it.

It's his turn to nod, in this little game they unknowingly stumbled into. "I miss them." He says, his voice holds so much more emotion as he talks about his brother, sister-in-law and nephew.

She looks up at him. "Me too, Lucas." He hears her voice crack, for a split second in the silence. Had they not been alone, accompanied by just the moon and the waves, he wouldn't have heard it at all.

But more than that, he hears her call his name. In that sweet, raspy voice of hers and he feels like it's been ages since he's heard her say it. He knows he's to blame for that, though.

Of course she misses them, they'd become her family. In few weeks they'd been here, she'd been with them every day. Whether it was watching the baby as Haley and Nathan ran errands or helping Haley with the packing. She'd been indispensable for them. "I know, it's hard, isn't it?" He questions, her eyes following a path to the sky.

She doesn't like where this conversation is going. To a place where she'd let herself be vulnerable. But she couldn't let that happen, not in front of him of all people. "Yeah. But, how's your mom?" She asks about that wonderful woman who had taught her so much in so little. Everything her own mother couldn't, she learned from his.

"Good, she seems to like New Zealand." He says, feeling his throat tighten at the mention of his mother. He missed her the most, he was sure of that much. "But it's good for her. Tree Hill never really did treat her right." He thinks out loud.

She can agree with that too. Karen deserved more than this one horse town, they all did. "Mouth says that Philadelphia is infinitely better than Tree Hill." She veers off topic once more.

Lucas smiles at the mention of one of his oldest friends. "I knew he would." He says simply.

A warm shiver trails it's way up her spine, the winds of mid July finally getting to her. "I miss him too." She says, her voice almost inaudible.

"And Rachel?" He wonders.

She doesn't know what to say about her, they hadn't spoken since the party to end all parties. "Good, I'm sure." She says confidently. "Paris, on the other hand, well the city should brace itself." A short laugh escapes her lips as she thinks of the havoc Rachel could cause there. France should feel mighty lucky that she didn't decide to go along. The two of them together was more than trouble, it spelled disaster.

He chuckles at her words. "This year wouldn't have been the same with out her." He says honestly.

She can attest to at least that much. "Sure wouldn't have." She nods.

"And you, Brooke?" He asks, his voice slightly hesitant.

She shakes her head, almost unnoticeably so. "I'm fine." She can feel herself lying through her teeth. There's no way she's fine, this isn't the face of someone who's fine.

He doesn't push her because he's afraid she'll run from him. He knows her nature and he'd rather play it safe. "Any new plans?" He asks lightly.

Now there's a loaded question. New plans, she wasn't even sure of her old one. But now that it didn't work out, the Victoria's Secret offer rescinded, she didn't know where to go. "North Carolina State, I guess." She mutters, at least she'd kept that option opened. She thanked her lucky stars each day that the school had accepted her.

He feels himself frown. "You never did tell me why they took their offer back." He hints.

She runs a hand through her tangled raven locks. Another shiver shifts through her spine. "Another story for another day, Lucas." She answers, pushing off the ground.

He stares at her, off guard and more than surprised. "But Brooke—

"We have an entire summer here, Luke. Just me and you." She wipes her hands against the back of her pants. "I'm sure we'll get to it." She meets his eyes for the briefest of seconds, before shying away.

He opens his mouth to protest, but remembers his earlier promise. Not to push her. "Tomorrow?" He suggests instead.

He sees her head bob up and down. "Sure, Lucas. Tomorrow." She throws a brilliant smile his way before beginning her walk up the beach.

"Wait." He calls behind her, getting to his feet. "It's late Brooke, can I at least walk you to your car?" It's more for his peace of mind than anything else. She's so small, so fragile, so breakable. He didn't like thinking about what could happen if she was left alone in the blanket of night in a deserted parking lot.

Her initial response it to refuse, but as she turn to face him, she sees the determined look in his eyes. The one that told her that he wouldn't take no for an answer. "I can get there myself, you know." She says instead, making sure that he knows that she doesn't need his help.

He nods, "I know. But I don't want you to." He jogs a couple of steps, reaching her. "So come on." He bobs his head towards the parking lot.

She rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically. "Fine." She mumbles, a retreating glance backwards before looking forward once more.

And he's right beside her, as usual, giving her more then she deserves and never even realizing it.

-x-

**A/N: **I guess things are a bit confusing right now but that's because this is just the prologue, so everything will be revealed in due time. Just remember that this is set in the summer between college and the end of senior year. Lucas and Brooke are the only two left in Tree Hill from the old gang and they find companionship with in each other through mutual feelings of loss and loneliness.

Bear with me, I'm sure this isn't like anything you've read.

Note: The chapter title comes from a song called _The Cure for the Pain is in the Pain_ by **Mewithoutyou**

**Read and Review!**


	2. My Beautiful Letdown

-x-

Chapter One: _My Beautiful Letdown_

_It was a beautiful letdown  
When You found me here  
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon  
I see everything clear_

-x-

His knock at her door came bright and early Sunday morning. More than a light rapture and softer than blunt pounding, it took her an all of fifteen minutes to even realize it. Yet, grumbling and tired, she rolled out of her bed to answer the godforsaken door. Praying for whoever was behind it, because they would face the wrath of a _very _grumpy Brooke Davis.

"Do you realize it's seven in the morning!" She growls, flinging open the red door.

Disheveled and unkempt, she still looks amazing. "Yes." He answers, a grin on his face.

And god damn it, if that grin didn't melt away her annoyance. "Don't make a habit of this, Lucas." She warns, but knows she'd open the door for this boy any time of day.

He chuckles, stepping around her to enter her house. "Get dressed." He says and it's more than a suggestion, it's a demand.

She gawks at him. "_Seven_ in the morning, Luke." She repeats as if he's retarded. "Don't you get that?"

"Of course I do. And I'm surprised you aren't awake." He answers, walking towards her living room. "Now, take a shower, get dressed. I'm gonna watch ESPN News." He ushers her towards the stairs.

She knows there's no arguing with him. "I'm gonna take my sweet ass time!" She calls behind him as she stands at the foot of her stairs.

She hears him laugh before she trudges up the stairs.

-x-

Brooke isn't sure why she's fussing over her hair. Or why she can't decide on an outfit. She isn't sure why her feet tingle or her heart's beating so fast. She doesn't get why her palms are sweating or why she cares that her shoes are slightly scuffed.

_It's only Lucas!_ She reminds herself hurriedly. The same Lucas that broke her heart _twice_ and the same Lucas that's dating her best friend.

"Brooke, you almost ready?" He calls through the door.

She stuffs both her legs into her shorts. "Almost!" She yells, pulling her tank top over her head in one fluid motion. She thanks her lucky stars that she's quick changer because the last thing she needs is Lucas suspecting she'd doing _anything_ special for him.

She does a quick look over in the mirror before reminding herself to remain guarded and strong. She wouldn't let this be a repeat of last summer, it simply wouldn't happen. She's far too mature and old for that now. _So high school_ and that's over. So are her feelings for Lucas.

She opens the door and comes face to face with him. Blue eyes and all. For a second her breath hitches in her throat, she hasn't been so close to his lips in a _long_ time.

She's so close he can smell her, that subtle scent of her perfume mingling with the soft smell of her shampoo. And something else he can't put his finger on, something that's just her. "You…" He trails off.

She wrenches her gaze from him, slipping past his body. "Let's go to wherever it is you want to go." She says briskly, heading for the stairs.

"Wait." He says behind her.

She braces herself and turns around. "What?" She asks, hoping that what he has to say won't shatter what little of herself she has left.

"You don't have shoes."

She glances down and realizes he's right, her feet are bare. "Oh." She gets out, it comes as more of a squeak than anything else. "I should probably…" She feels her cheek burn just a little as she walks by him again and back to her room.

She slips her feet into a pair of flip flops and comes back out. "Good now?" She gestures to her appearance.

He smiles. "Perfect." His blue eyes twinkle as he does.

She doesn't respond with anything but a nod. "Now will you tell me where this place where you plan to kidnap me to, is?" She's curious.

He follows her down the steps. "If I'm gonna do a good job of kidnapping you then I really can't, now can I?" He jokes.

Brooke tosses him a look of annoyance as they walk out into the sweltering North Carolina sun. "It's too hot and way to early to be playing games." She warns.

He unlocks his car. "Brooke half the fun is the surprise."

She kinks an eye brow. "Lucas, come on. Just tell me." His insistence to make this a mystery only adds to her curiosity. "I don't like surprises."

"I remember." He nods, holding open the passenger side door.

She narrows her hazel eyes at him before sitting.

"Is it somewhere fun?" She persists as he sits beside her.

He doesn't budge. "Depends."

"Can I wear jeans there?"

"Perhaps." Another noncommittal answer.

"Does it have breakfast?"

"If you're hungry." He responds.

Brooke flicks his ear. "You're a jerk and I don't know why I agreed to this." She says ruefully.

Lucas gives a short laugh. "Because you wouldn't be able to go a day with out seeing me." He says playfully.

"Pfft. In your dreams, Luke." She rolls her eyes.

He shakes his head. "Seriously, Lucas. Where are we going?" She isn't joking anymore, she really wants to know.

He sighs. "It's a place I want you to see, Brooke. A place I go alone." He explains. "I was gonna go there today but after the beach yesterday, I wanted to…" He didn't say anymore.

She let his words sink in. _A place I like to go alone…_ they sounded eerily familiar and all to uncomfortable. She wasn't his girlfriend anymore, she didn't need him to do all this. "You didn't have to bring me, you know. I wouldn't have minded." She tells him quietly.

He didn't for a second do this out of obligation. "I know." Lucas shrugs. "But I wouldn't feel so good if I left you in Tree Hill alone." He says simply.

She stares at him. "Why?" Beyond confused and a little bewildered, Brooke wants answers.

"We're the only two left here." He says, a bit too dramatically for her taste. "I figure, we should spend it the summer together."

"You _want_ to?" She asks softly, for a second she's almost vulnerable.

He looks at her as if she's grown a second head. "What? Of course." He says as if she'd just asked him if the sky were blue, the grass green. "We're friends, Brooke." He reminds her.

Brooke feels a _tad _stupid. "I know, but we don't really act like it, do we?" She questions.

And to that, he has no answer.

-x-

She'd had a feeling where he was going to bring her, from his ominous answer to her question. But she wasn't prepared. She didn't really think she'd be right in presuming but she was. And it scared that she still knew him. And knew him so well. It made her wonder what he still knew about her.

He wraps an arm around her shoulder and it feel a little _too_ comfortable. "If this makes you feel uneasy, then tell me." Lucas says seriously. "I won't be offended if you want to wait in the car." He tells her honestly.

She looks up at him, "I'm fine, I'd like to see him too." She says and there isn't a single part of her that isn't at ease with this. While they may be at a cemetery, to her, it feels more like meeting an old friend than visiting the dead.

He searches her face for any hesitation. "I think he'd wanna see you too." His uncle had always been fond of the brunette beside him, he'd made as much known before his untimely death.

"I used to come here a lot, you know." She tells him as they walk along the path.

He raises his eye brows down at her. "Really, why?" He asks, no one he knows about is dead in her family. But her parents may well as be for as much as they care about her.

"With Peyton." She says effortlessly. "Larry had a hard time coming here but I'd come with Peyton because she was basically my mom too." She explains, feeling the dull pangs of nostalgia at her heart.

He's once again forced to realize what made him fall for the brunette in the first place. Looking past her sex appeal and gorgeous good looks, her heart was a thing to be marveled. Something he'd broken one too many times. "Every time?" He struggles to get out.

"Until she was old enough to face her alone." She answers. "I guess when she didn't really need me anymore, for that." Brooke had seen something in Peyton that day and it was strength. She couldn't have been prouder of the curly blonde but she couldn't have been sadder either. Visiting Anna was something they did together and now Brooke had no reason to go at all.

Lucas saw the moment of hurt pass over her face. "You've been the best friend anyone could be to Peyton." He says truthfully. "She's more than lucky to have you."

She's touched by his words but would die before admitting it. "Think that I could visit her, Anna I mean." She asks. "I haven't in a while." She admits sheepishly.

The look on her face is past cute, it's damn near adorable and for a moment, he has to restrain himself from kissing her forehead. As he would've done if she were still his girlfriend. "Sure." He says with a grin. "It'll give me a chance to talk to Keith." He assures her.

She smiles up at him. "Thank Luke." It's radiant and more than beautiful. It's genuine.

-x-

"Hey Mama Sawyer." She rasps, kneeling beside the headstone that's engraved with her name. "Bet you thought I was Peyton, huh?" She says with a small laugh.

Brooke falls back on her hands, sitting down in the dirt, for once not caring she's getting her clothes dirty. "I'm sure you're surprised to see me, I haven't been here in a long time." She feels guilt and remorse for that. "And I know, I look different now, than I did at fourteen. No more braces or horrible blonde high lights." She shakes her pure brown mane. "Truth is, I just couldn't face the thought of coming here alone." She's letting it all out now.

"Coz you weren't really my mom and coming here felt kind of like stealing." She feels her throat constricting. "And then I got to high school and my life became a mess. I wasn't the person I wanted to be, I was so far from it I couldn't even recognize myself. I couldn't come here then, because I don't think you'd be able to see my like that." She confesses. "And I was selfish and an idiot." She hates thinking about the girl she used to be.

Brooke feels tears pricking behind her eyes and prays Lucas's talk with Keith runs long. She wouldn't be able to take it if he saw her crying. She swore a long time ago that he never would again. "And now? Well, Peyton's off to California and I'm here with her _boyfriend_." She says, a mirthless laugh escaping her lips. "Seems a little backwards, doesn't it?" She refers to the triangle the three of them had been part of for far too long.

"I'm not trying to steal Lucas, I promise." She swears. "And I didn't come here to tell you that either. I just came to say that, I'm taking care of Peyton for you." Brooke whispers and god damn it if it wasn't true, she'd given the girl Lucas didn't she? The only boy she'd ever been in love with. "I know you'd want me to and truth be told, I don't think there's anyone else who could. Even when we were in that horrible fight, I still worried about her." She'd never actually told anyone that. Well, kind of Lucas but he had been in a coma and who knows if he was even listening.

She brings a hand to her face and wipes away the tears. "I miss her, you know. Maybe she doesn't miss me." Brooke doesn't doubt that she's Peyton's best friend but she also knows how much her dreams matter to her. She doesn't begrudge the blonde for it, maybe just slightly envies. "But I'm glad she's happy, Peyton deserves it." She couldn't think ill of the girl if she tried, it just wasn't in her. "Anyway, this was me, piling on the drama, as usual." Brooke says lightly.

"I do miss you, in case I didn't say that." She says with a slight shrug of her shoulder. "And I want you to know that even when I didn't come here, I still thought about you." Growing up, Brooke had missed her, sometimes, more than her own mother. "And I hope wherever you are, you're doing okay." She touches the headstone delicately before pushing off the ground.

-x-

"Hey Keith." He begins like he always does. "What'd you think of Brooke being here?" He questions, he's sure his uncle enjoyed Brooke Davis's company because who wouldn't? Besides, Keith had always made it painfully clear he preferred the brunette over the blonde after he got to know her.

"She's something, isn't she? I won't forget the night you came back from where ever it is you were and she hugged you before I could." He recalls the memory fondly. "And your morning chats over coffee, she knew just what to say." He remembers he isn't here to take a stroll down memory lane. "Anyway, it's just me and her in Tree Hill this summer. Mom finally went to visit Andy with Lilly, who looks more and more like you every day." He adds. "She's beautiful." His little sister is one of his favorite people in the entire world.

"She cries like you too." He jokes. "And Nathan and Haley went to Charlotte with baby James, Nate got offered a job." He mentions. "Mouth's in Philadelphia, you know. As an intern sports announcer." Lucas knows his friend will be offered the job, he couldn't think of a better commentator than Marvin McFadden. And no bigger sports enthusiast either.

"Skills should be back by the end of the month, he went to visit his mom in Virginia." His friend had recently just broken up with his girlfriend Bevin and needed some time with his mother. "Rachel, that fiery redhead who got in a fight with Brooke at Midnight Madness, well she left too." Lucas had never been _great_ friends with Rachel Gattina but she'd led him to Brooke the night of the fantasy boy draft. And it wasn't an even he liked recalling very often because it ended with Chris Keller and his dimpled brunette in bed together. But it was also the night he'd confessed that Brooke was the girl for him.

What a mess that was.

"And Peyton? Well, Peyton's probably going to be staying in LA." It's a harsh reality he's come to terms with. "I guess we could probably make long distance work. I mean we've overcome everything else." Stalkers, ex-girlfriends, dead mothers and a love triangle from hell, compared to all that, long distance should be cake. "It's a test of our relationship, right? If we really love each other, it's all going to work out in the end." His words seem eerily familiar and he knows where he's heard them before.

The girl that seemed to be the root of everything had said something akin to that once. Instead, she was referring to the two of them rather than him and Peyton.

"I know I seemed to screw up a lot, while you were around." Lucas mentions. "But I want you to know, I'm gonna get it right this time." He's determined to make this work. "Me and Peyton, it's fate right?" He isn't sure if he believes in matches made in heaven, soul mates and all that jazz. But everyone they've ever met has said that the two of them are perfect for each other, who is he to argue? "It's what's meant to happen." But it seems like the easy way out. Kind of like settling.

He runs a hand over his face. "But sometimes, Keith, I just don't know." And that kills him. "I just—

His speech falters as he hears a shuffle of footsteps behind him followed by a brief. "Sorry." It's Brooke, of course. "I'll just go—

"No, it's okay." He ensures her. "I'm just about done." He's glad he brought her here with him.

"Take your time." Brooke doesn't want to rush him.

But Lucas knows he's said just about everything he needed to say. "Thanks for listening to me bitch, Keith." He grins, he's sure his uncle has had it up to here with his whining. "I miss you, man." He hasn't missed anyone so much before. He grips the head stone and pulls himself off the ground.

He turns to face Brooke. "Ready?" He asks.

Brooke nods but doesn't know what she's ready for.

He re-wraps an around her shoulders, he knows being in a cemetery even if it's broad daylight, kind of creeps her out. "So wasn't this fun?" He asks jokingly.

She wrinkles her nose up at him. "Fun isn't the right word." She says. "But I'm glad you invited me, Luke. Thank you. " If only he could've been so open while they were dating, maybe she wouldn't have jumped to so many conclusions. Maybe she wouldn't have been so insecure.

"Thanks for accepting, especially since I woke you up at _seven_ in the morning." He teases.

She lightly elbows him. "Speaking of, I believe I was promised breakfast." She says with a laugh.

He taps his chin. "Were you?" He asks thoughtfully.

"I think you're exact words were "If you're hungry", right?" Brooke says with conviction. "And I am, so let's go." She smiles up at him, her dimples simply irresistible.

Lucas chuckles and ruffles her hair. "Now how am I supposed to say no to that." And he knows he couldn't. He'd never be able to deny her a single thing in his life because girlfriend or not, Brooke Davis held something over him that he'd never be able to define. Whether she's smiling, laughing or pouting, she's the one person he'd never be able to refuse. No matter how silly or unreasonable the demand.

"You don't." She walks around to the passenger side of his car.

And she's right. He won't.

_What are you doing to my heart, pretty girl?_

Because another breathtaking smile later and he's willing to do just about anything for her.

_It was a beautiful letdown  
When I crashed and burned  
When I found myself alone  
Unknown and hurt_

-x-

**A/N:** This was long overdue and I'm **sorry**. I really shouldn't start a story if I can't keep up with it but life is life and **summer days** are far too _short_. Anyway, I hope this makes up for it even just a little and I hope you guys aren't too mad.

I guess things are going slow right now but this isn't meant to be an in your face romance novel. Brooke and Lucas are getting reacquainted with each other after the effects of Hurricane _Leyton. _So just bear with me, it's going to get better.

Reviews are awesome just like you readers. Thanks so much and keep them coming. I promise to update sooner!

Love,  
-Aly


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